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Letters to the Editor

The King Will Reply

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" (Matthew 25:40)

To the editor of Quaker Life magazine,

The Scripture quoted above reflects the commitment of a long line of Quakers to reaching out to the marginalized, forgotten and downtrodden among us, and bringing hope, healing, love and blessing as they "walked cheerfully over the earth, answering that of God in every man." For many years Friends United Meeting has been instrumental in carrying on this good Quaker work in all parts of the world. Now not only that work, but even the organization itself is in danger of falling victim to dwindling contributions and support from its member yearly meetings. There are already conversations among some Friends about how the work might continue when the organization is no more.

While some of this financial problem has been created by the current economic downturn, a substantial portion of it comes from a different dilemma. How do member meetings of FUM who are in substantial disagreement with some of its policies find a way to voice their concerns? As is often the case when people feel they are not being heard or their viewpoint not given serious consideration, some yearly meetings or other associations have chosen to withhold some or all of their financial support in protest. While this is sometimes an effective means of changing the status quo, it can also inflict consequences and difficulties on people and places who have no culpability in the existence or enforcement of the protested policies, and end up the real victims of the process rather than the decision makers themselves.

We have just had to cut another staff position at the Richmond office and our missions around the world are in serious crises. Some have already closed, and some are barely surviving because the funds to operate them are not forthcoming. The time has come that we have to ask ourselves, not only is this what we want to see happen, but more importantly, is this what God wants to happen to the work of Friends United Meeting around the world?

I am not suggesting here that Friends United Meeting's organization and policies are not in need of change. I understand the frustration some Friends are feeling. In fact, let me just say as clearly as possible, I am in complete disagreement with the current Friends United Meeting hiring policy. Like many other Friends, I believe it is discriminatory and is a complete violation of our testimony for equality. And while I will continue to speak out against that policy whenever I have the opportunity, I will also continue to do all I can to support Friends United Meeting financially, because it is my faith community, and I believe in the work it is doing whether or not I am in agreement with all of its policies, so for me it's the right thing to do regardless.

There are also some practical reasons I believe that withholding support from FUM is not the way to address the problem. If the personnel policy were to change tomorrow, what would happen? Maybe those who were in agreement with the new policy would renew their support of the organization. But what about those that weren't? Would the tables turn, and would they then withhold their financial support to express their disapproval? Could those who have done the same thing condemn them for it? And even if this particular issue is somehow resolved to everyone's satisfaction, how long will it be before we encounter other issues around which we are not in unity? We serve a God who is full of grace and mercy and who is bigger than all our differences. Are we not called to follow that example?

We have to find a creative way to express our differences that does not impact our financial commitment to FUM and our ability to work together in ministry around the world. Maybe we all need to ask ourselves, who are the real victims of our inability to work together? Not people in Baltimore Yearly Meeting or North Carolina Yearly Meeting or New York Yearly Meeting or Western Yearly Meeting, but people in hospitals in Kenya, orphans in children's homes in Jamaica, students in schools in Belize - the poor, the sick, the hungry, the "least of these", the very ones Jesus calls us to serve. If we as Friends United Meeting can't lay aside our differences in order to do that, then maybe it is time for the pages of history to close on us because we are no longer worthy to be called Friends.

Tony Lowe, pastoral minister
Fancy Gap Friends Fellowship
North Carolina Yearly Meeting-FUM
Approved by Fancy Gap Friends Fellowship
Third Month, 14th day, 2010

A Friend's Concern about Being Welcoming

"Being Welcoming! (and Affirming?)" was the title of one of our minister's Sunday morning messages at Wilmington Friends Meeting. The Gathering Moment, printed in the bulletin that Sunday, was the following quotation of the Rev. Dr. Mel White, co-founder of SoulForce, an interfaith movement committed to ending spiritual violence against homosexuals based on the nonviolent principles of M.K. Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Imagine the suffering that could be avoided if the church fold say this to lesbian, gay and transgendered children: 'We don't understand your views about sexual orientation, but we love and trust you. As long as you love God and seek God's will in your life, you are welcome here.' Instead, well-intended Christians are driving their own children away."

During the Open Worship which followed the message, many in attendance that Sunday morning stood and vocally expressed appreciation to our minister for his message including a practicing physician who stated a position similar to my own. I believe that homosexuals are created by God and those who reject or discriminate against them are the ones in error rather than homosexuals. I was also one who stood and thanked our minister vocally for his message, and I thanked the doctor for verifying my position which I acquired as I watched my homosexual niece grow to adulthood. Even though I never realized how very different she was from other girls until she reached adulthood and "came out" as a lesbian, I look back now and know beyond a shadow of any doubt that she was born homosexual just as I think most people who have born homosexuals in their families know. I have close friends who are homosexuals and others who are parents of homosexuals, and I know the hurt and resentment they feel when they or their children are disparaged.

At one time, a dialog appeared in the Wilmington News Journal when a writer of a letter to the editor objected to Dear Abby's "promoting homosexuality." I entered the discussion with the opinion that Dear Abby was advocating tolerance rather than "promoting homosexuality," and that tolerating homosexuality is far more Christian than condemning it.

Exodus tells us, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," while Jesus says:

• Love your enemies;
• Do good to those who persecute you;
• Turn the other cheek;
• Give your cloak as well as your coat;
• Go the second mile.

It is written in Leviticus, "If a man lies down with another man as he would a woman, both men shall be put to death," but Jesus says:

• Let him who is without sin cast the first stone;
• Judge not that you be not judged;
• Do unto others, as you wish to be done by;
• Love your neighbor as yourself;
• Feed the hungry, clothe the naked and defend the downtrodden.

I have talked to various weighty Quakers of Wilmington Yearly Meeting — that is, Quakers who are more influential in WYM than I am — who insist that homosexuality is wicked because it is a choice, not God created.

I personally think Wilmington Yearly Meeting made a sad mistake, several years ago, when they reprimanded a participating monthly meeting for performing a marriage ceremony for two lesbians. We know that WYM lost that monthly meeting, and I know we also lost other members of various monthly meetings and that some, such as myself, chose to remain members even though we were disappointed and/or offended as a result of WYM's decision.

Because I truly believe homosexuality is genetic, I personally worry that homophobia is sinful. I believe that to be truly Christian, one must be not just tolerant, but accepting and affirming of oppressed minorities regardless of the reason for discrimination against them, be it sex, color, age, sexual orientation, handicap or any other condition created by God.

I also think Friends United Meeting makes a mistake by not being accepting and affirming of homosexuals. Quakers were leaders in affirming those whose skin color differ from our own. I am disappointed that Wilmington Yearly Meeting and Friends United Meeting have lagged behind other groups such as the Episcopal Church which has announced a "new policy of blessing committed relationships" regardless of the gender of those involved.

I write this statement in hopes I can encourage all Friends/Quakers to join those of us who want not just to welcome homosexuals but also affirm those who are different in any way from the average member.

Frances Wilkin
Wilmington, Ohio