|
Friends United
Meeting |
 |
July/August 2008
Living as
Friends, Listening Within:
Young Adult Friends Gather in Richmond
By Katie Terrell, FUM Communications Editor
In elementary school, the first assignment of the new school year was always to write an essay: “What I did on my summer vacation.” If I were still in elementary school I would have plenty to write about this year, and summer is only just beginning. I considered titling this essay, “How I Spent Memorial Day Weekend,” but the breadth of what I have to say goes beyond those four days.
Planning
Emily Stewart, youth ministries coordinator for Friends General Conference,
called me September 14, 2007, and asked if I would be interested in being
on the planning committee for a young adult Friends conference to be held
May 23-26, 2008, at Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana. It sounded like
fun — a conference for young adults (ages 18-35) from all branches of
Friends — but I didn’t have much experience planning conferences, nor
had I ever been to Youth Quake, the World Gathering or any other event
with young adult Quakers. I agreed, though with some reservations and
no promises that I could commit much time to the planning process.
The theme of the conference was, “Living as Friends, Listening Within.” The idea was to bring Friends from all branches together to talk about leadings and callings, how we listen for God and how God speaks in our lives. Over the course of the next several months I met the other eight planning committee members through e-mail and conference calls. We were from all branches of Friends: Friends United Meeting (FUM), Evangelical Friends International (EFI), Friends General Conference (FGC), Conservative and Independent.
I was well-stretched by participating in this planning process. Our first conference call began with centering silence. Sitting in my living room in silence with my cell phone to my ear was certainly not anything I was accustomed to. As the planning continued, several Friends began referring to the conference as a “gathering.” What was a gathering? And what did Friends do after they had gathered?
We soon began using the terms conference and gathering interchangeably, the way many Friends use church and meeting interchangeably. The deeper we delved into the program for the weekend, the harder the questions became. How much silence will programmed Friends be comfortable with? How much programmed worship will unprogrammed Friends be comfortable with? Do we need a keynote speaker? What if we ask someone to prepare a keynote address and the Spirit ends up calling for something else — silence or singing or worship sharing?
Worship sharing was another term I was unfamiliar with, which was described to me as “no pressure” worship. Unprogrammed worship comes with “instructions” for testing a leading to speak out of the silence: Is the message on my heart meant for me alone? Then I am not called to speak out. Is the message on my heart meant for a small group of people? Then perhaps I can share it with them later. Is the message on my heart for the wider circle of Friends? Is it persistently asking to be shared? Then I should stand and speak. These guides need not apply in worship sharing, however, where the purpose is sharing our stories and messages, whether we are certain they come from God and need to be shared or not.
Breakdown
In early April, just six weeks before the conference was to be held, the
planning committee experienced a breakdown. Because we didn’t know each
other and had never met face to face, we had trouble trusting one another.
We couldn’t see each other as individuals. We weren’t speaking the same
language. I, for one, struggled with control — wanting to make sure that
my FUM Friends who attended felt safe and comfortable, and that their
monthly and yearly meetings would feel safe and comfortable sending their
young adults to this gathering, regardless of how much that would stretch
individuals from other branches. The idea for the conference, to bring
together a diversity of Friends, was still a good one, but it seemed as
if the Spirit was no longer at the center.
The entire planning committee met face-to-face for the first time April 12–13 in Richmond, Indiana. We invited two individuals, Trayce Peterson, director of the Newlin Center for Quaker Thought and Practice, and Melanie Weidner, a Quaker artist from Oregon, to support us in what was destined to be a difficult discussion. They guided us through deep listening exercises, listening to the Spirit and listening to one another. We named the distrust that we had for one another and were able to speak to the hurt that we were feeling, particularly in regards to feeling the absence of the Spirit.
After a full day of prayer, tears and apologies, the planning committee was transformed. For the next six weeks, we talked weekly on conference calls, shared dozens of e-mails daily and the logistics of the conference began to fall into place. I had the entire planning committee on speed dial and could call any one of them when e-mail felt too impersonal for a decision or discussion. A renewed energy was inside each of us as the conference drew near. Our prayers for the conference and each participant intensified with the passing of days as we asked God to prepare our hearts and be present when we all came together in Richmond.
Expectations
I had no idea what to expect from the conference. Even when I intentionally
tried to imagine what it would be like, I couldn’t. Would it be awkward,
like a junior high dance, each branch segregated from the others? Or would
there be intermingling and getting-to-know-you conversations over hamburgers
and vegan brownies? Would there be heated theological discussions over
the authority of Scripture versus the authority of the Holy Spirit? Or
would there be deep listening and opportunities for growth as we learned
to speak each others’ language? Would programmed Friends be uncomfortable
in the silence and unprogrammed Friends left unsatisfied by prepared sermons?
Or would we be enriched by the diversity of worship styles experienced
among Friends? Would we, as a planning committee, forget some vital logistical
piece, like room assignments or airport shuttles or dietary needs? Or
would everything fall into place, the only forgotten pieces being insignificant
at best?
We planned to the best of our ability, with the Spirit guiding us to make this the safest, most comfortable environment we could for all branches of Friends. I could not anticipate how the conference would turn out, which, of course, is a good thing, because as soon as registration opened on Friday, May 23, the conference was no longer ours — we gladly handed it off to One higher than us.
The Conference
Just over a hundred Friends came from all over the U.S. and Canada, and
from every branch of Quakerism, to engage in this event. Doug Bennett,
president of Earlham College, opened the conference by welcoming Friends
to campus. He touched on the diversity of the Earlham College staff, diversity
that we would similarly experience at this conference, and how it has
always been his desire to emphasize their similarities rather than their
differences.
Friends were entertained with a skit written and directed by planning committee member Maya Wright, highlighting Quaker history in “ten easy points”: George Fox, Quakers come to America, Quietism, the Hicksite-Orthodox split, the Wilburite-Gurneyite split, the Revival movement, Conservative Friends, the Richmond Declaration, founding the umbrella organizations (FUM, FGC, EFI, etc.) and the tenth point: “we, here tonight, are the tenth important point in Quaker history,” Maya said. “We are, like Fox, young people searching for more out of life, who are working out for ourselves what it means to be a follower of Jesus and a Quaker. We are young people searching out what it means to live a life guided by the Spirit, seeking out what we are called to do.”
Saturday and Sunday were filled with workshops, service projects, interest groups, small groups, Bible studies, worship and a few minutes here and there of free time, not to mention excellent meals from the Earlham food staff. I was able to attend two workshops. Ron and Pam Ferguson, pastors at Winchester Friends Meeting (Indiana), led a workshop entitled, “That Your Carriage and Life May Preach.” After sharing how they live out the Friends Testimonies, they encouraged us to share our own experiences, focusing primarily on the Testimonies of peace and simplicity. I am continually amazed at the good work that young adult Friends are involved in and how passionate they are about living with integrity in a world we are still trying to figure out.
Brent Bill, author of Holy Silence and Mind the Light, led a workshop entitled, “Sacred Compass,” taken from the title of his latest book. Brent came equipped with scented markers, encouraging us to draw a “life map,” charting the peaks and valleys of our life’s journey. We discussed ways we can be sure that a leading is from God: ask questions, talk with others, write, sit in silence, call a clearness committee, meet with an elder, read the Bible, pray, draw and be patient to see if the leading persists. We then looked at the peaks in our lives and asked ourselves if those were the leadings that we had felt and, if so, how we knew they were from God. “Let your life speak” is a phrase most Quakers are familiar with, a call to live our lives as an example of our beliefs. Adapting that phrase, Brent encouraged us to ask, “How does my life speak to me?”
Worship
We experienced three types of worship over the course of the weekend:
programmed, semi-programmed and unprogrammed. Mark Walker led semi-programmed
worship on Friday evening, giving equal time to silence and vocal ministry.
His message was one of both forgiveness and a call to the Society of Friends
to be living examples, seeing that of God — that of Love — in everyone.
With the prayer support and encouragement of the planning committee and pastoral care team, I led programmed worship on Saturday morning. The Scripture verse that carried us through the weekend was Romans 12:2 (NRSV): “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God — what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
I felt led to share my own experience of conforming to the ways of the world in order to please others, from how I dressed, to where I worked, to how old I was supposed to be when I got married and started a family. There were lots of props and wardrobe changes to illustrate my point, that no matter how much the outside changed, it was the renewing of the mind that had to take place before transformation could occur.
Unprogrammed worship was left for Monday, our closing worship service, to allow space for the Spirit to move and speak. As a programmed Friend, I always believed that unprogrammed worship meant an hour of complete silence. Friends challenged my preconceptions during this conference. Out of the silence came vocal ministry in the form of hymns, camp songs, poems, personal testimonies, Scripture and powerful sermons. And even so, I still had the opportunity to be still and silent and know that God was present and speaking to me, through me and through over a hundred Friends who waited expectantly in the silence with me.
Gleanings
The energy surrounding the gathering was earth-shaking. There was no question
that young adults want to make an impact on the world and are impatient
to do so. Callid Keefe- Perry said, “If all we expect is to sit in a meetinghouse
with a bunch of nice people, that’s all we will get.” Betsy Blake added,
“What is holding us back?”
For me, one of the most memorable moments of the weekend was Sunday morning. Local Friends meetings: Clear Creek, West Richmond and First Friends, invited us to worship with them. One of our conference participants, Ben Pressley, led worship at West Richmond, using the text Luke 4:14–22. Following worship, local Friends joined us for lunch and service opportunities. Many of those seasoned Friends had been active in young adult Friends activities in their youth, which was a joy to share in. This time of breaking bread and caring for our community together was particularly poignant for me as the end of the conference drew near and young adult Friends were beginning to talk about what it meant to return to their communities, how monthly and yearly meetings can support young adults and how we can work together across the spectrum of Friends.
I feel richly blessed to have had the opportunity to participate in and plan this gathering of young adult Friends. The weekend challenged me in ways that were both anticipated and surprising. Several difficult conversations made their way into the weekend — we are not immune to the issues that our yearly meetings confront. Many times I was challenged to think about what it is I believe, and why. There were also moments of clarity when I discovered similarities and consistencies that I shared with Friends who seemed vastly different from me, differences that were often explained away by simple semantics. There were moments in which I felt empowered, as an individual and with the whole, not in spite of, but because of, our differences. Over and over I was infused with the love that I saw and felt from participants who yearn to grow together rather than apart. This is what inspires me about the future, and the present, of Friends.