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Not in My Church

By Lois Hackney

Is sexual abuse a new problem to religious organizations? No, it is not new, but for many years people refused to believe that a person with a calling from God would engage in this kind of behavior and often these reports were swept under the rug. Congregations refused to accept the fact that any kind of sexual abuse could happen in their church, yet there are very few incidents that shake the foundation of a congregation more than this sort of scandal. This news is often met with disbelief, which gives way to anger and bewilderment. A congregation can be ripped apart and faith in God can be shattered. The emotional and spiritual costs are great. Yet every congregation faces this risk.

Entering into a ministerial relationship with another person is “A Sacred Trust”—it matters not whether this is a paid staff person or a lay leader. The minister and ministerial relationship applies to: pastors, youth ministers, choir directors, Sunday School teachers, lay ministers, church camp counselors and seminary faculty and administrators just to name a few. When we talk about ministry as a profession, we understand these people have a calling, a specialized knowledge and understanding that requires education. Religious organizations have set standards for performance which members are expected to meet. The person in the ministerial role must be accountable to those being served, and the minister has a power and authority inherent in the role to be used in the interest of those served. There have been many stories of abuse of this “sacred trust.”

Wilmington Yearly Meeting decided to send the Presiding Clerk, Lois Hackney, and the Executive Secretary, Marvin Hall, to a three-day training session entitled, “Clergy Misconduct: Sexual Abuse in the Ministerial Relationship.” The training was provided by the Faith Trust Institute of Seattle, Washington. The goals of the training were to prepare churches/meetings through their representatives to maintain the integrity of ministerial relationships, and to protect vulnerable people, whether they are the congregant or the clergyperson.

The training provided a framework of understanding and information that will enable congregations to:

IDENTIFY unethical conduct and potentially abusive situations within ministerial roles;

INTERVENE and RESPOND APPROPRIATELY to unethical conduct when it does occur;

PROVIDE opportunities for RESTORING victims, congregations and the individual who misuses power and authority, as well as for restoring the Integrity of the ministry;

Take steps to PREVENT unethical or abusive conduct in individual ministry and for those around us.

Some of the things discussed in the workshop which we felt the need to point out to persons in ministerial roles were:
• Establishing restrictions on the time, location, length and number of counseling sessions;
• Establishing guidelines on appropriate and inappropriate touches;
• Creating accountability through proper supervision;
• Establishing policies on socializing with congregants;
• Screening workers who will serve in ministerial roles, camp counselors, Sunday school teachers, Youth Group leaders, etc.;
• And the need to have more than one adult present in high risk settings.

Some red flags for people in the ministerial role were:
• Patterns of boundary violations—extending a counseling session or changing a location so that it is more isolated.
• Staff members who are depressed may be more prone to sexual misconduct. This is not always true but could be.
• People in ministerial roles often feel the need to keep family problems hidden and then find themselves in a misconduct situation.
• Infatuation on the part of the minister or congregant can lead to problems unless proper boundaries are set.
• Poor judgment, such as meeting a congregant alone for counseling at their home for dinner or other intimate out of the way place.
• Previous misconduct. Congregation leaders must investigate before someone is given this Sacred Trust.

After the completion of the training, Marvin and Lois developed a one-day workshop that has been offered to Wilmington Yearly Meeting in Tennessee and the Wilmington, Ohio area. The workshop has become part of the Training and Recording process, and Lois has worked with each group of camp counselors.

If we lived in a perfect world, there would be no need for this kind of training. We do not and more cases of this type are being reported. Churches must be ready to respond not only to the victim, but the abuser as well.

Lois Hackney is clerk of Wilmington Yearly Meeting and a member of Chester Friends, Ohio.