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Friends United Meeting |
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September 2000
A Challenge to Minister
By Pam Taylor
Tears flowed down my cheeks, my eyes were puffy and red, and the noise around me was absolutely deafening. I sat on the cold concrete floor scarcely believing I had driven for one hour and had already been waiting for two hours. I looked around at the worn out people sharing the room with me. Most looked tired, sad and angry. Some had small children with them. As I looked at those children's vacant and hollow eyes, some with their thumbs in their mouths, others with torn and tattered blankies, I wondered what their future held. Would they ever have a bright future? My thoughts turned to my darling little boy, Cody, age two and a half. His bright eyes and quick smile brought a smile to my face, and fresh tears sprang to my eyes knowing that we were apart yet another evening. Soon it would be over, and we wouldn't be going through this ordeal again.
A steel door slammed, cold wind blew in--it was time to go in. Seven of us could go this time and I was one of them. Finally, it was my turn. The guard's cold eyes glared at each one of us as I fought down the urge to vomit. I talked myself into holding my head up high. I certainly was better than those around me. They were the least of society, and I would not succumb to their level. This was only temporary for me, or so I thought. The steel gray walls seemed to mock me as I walked down the hallway. I took a seat on a folding chair, pasted on a smile, picked up the phone, and waited for my husband to come out of his jail cell for our weekly fifteen minute visit. In those fifteen minutes he informed me not to come back, to file for divorce, and let him go to prison alone in order to get on with my life.
I drove home, the snow and my thoughts whirling the whole time. Somehow I decided that I would leave. I would take Cody and go away. He was small enough I could tell him his dad had died when he was little and he would never know the difference. All through the week I considered my situation, and for the next six months I talked myself in and out divorcing. I never prayed. God, after all, had abandoned me when I needed Him the most.
My family had now become a statistic. Frank was now the one out of four people who experience prison, parole or probation. He was one of the men it cost $19,784 a year to keep in prison. My son was one of seven million children who had a father in prison. Yet, Frank was not a "typical prisoner." He could read and write. He had a college education and had served fifteen years in the military. He was a family man. How would I ever face the world again? I was so humiliated.
One month before Frank was sentenced to Lansing Correctional Facility for a minimum of 3 years and not more that 10 years, I "accidentally" ran into Gene Stratton, a friend from a lifetime ago. Gene's invitation to church prompted me to rethink my situation. I had never been so embarrassed, and yet, so relieved at the same time to encounter someone willing to share God's love. The love that Shepherd Friends Church extended to my family helped preserve our marriage, nurture Cody, and foster a love relationship with God that I had never experienced before.
I now worship with the Wichita Fellowship of Friends and am overwhelmed by the support and love they lavish upon me as I work with Gene and Linda Stratton, Gary and Connie Young, Eldon Cox, and Lou Locke to minister to men behind the walls of prison and to their families. We also minister to the men reintegrating into society after experiencing incarceration by providing a halfway house and other forms of support (see "Ideas That Work," page 13).
Prison ministry is not a common ministry; it is not a comfortable ministry. Remember, God does not call us to be lukewarm and I assure you prison ministry is red hot! It is a ministry like no other. What a privilege it is to pray with the mothers of those little children who would not have Christmas without Angel Tree! What joy to weep with a man as he says he is freer behind the walls of prison because of Jesus Christ! And it was humbling to work side by side with fellow brothers and sisters from Friends churches as we opened the doors of a home for men coming out of prison, just in time for Valentines Day!!
Pam Taylor is Executive Director of LifeChange, Co-founder of Friends in His Service, Prison Fellowship volunteer, and NFL Service Group Coordinator. Pam is a member of Wichita Fellowship of Friends. Her son Cody is in the third grade.
Copyright (c) 2000 Friends United Meeting
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